


Protégé

by logsted



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drowning, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Manipulation arc, More characters to be added, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protege Tommy AU, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/logsted/pseuds/logsted
Summary: Dream has manipulated Tommy to the point where nothing and nobody else matters except for him, and he'd do anything it takes to stay with Dream, even if it means becoming his sidekick and doing every little thing he asks.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 210
Kudos: 1229





	1. (Prologue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy has spent a painful amount of time in exile.. He's starting to loose hope.
> 
> TW: suicide attempts/implications, descriptions of dying, and emotional manipulation

Tommy was alone.

Nobody had visited him in… In days? Weeks? Maybe it had been over a month? Well… Nobody, except for Dream.

Tommy didn’t know why everybody had decided to just give up on him all of the sudden. Even Ghostbur hadn’t been around much.. At all, anymore. Even all the girls on snapchat had been ghosting him, and they were _fake_!

At first, his friends visited, and fairly frequently too. At least enough that the crushing loneliness didn’t hit him as hard as it could have. It wasn’t like that stopped him from being in a horrible mental state whenever someone _did_ visit-- He was still a mess-- But it was enough to keep him going. But slowly, one by one, day by day, visits became less and less frequent.

Dream was the only person that ever visited. He came to visit Tommy pretty often, and as time wore on, eventually, almost every single day. He came bearing news from back on the Dream SMP, about how amazing everything was over there, and tales of the fun events and things that were happening.. Without him. Sometimes he came bearing bad news, too.

“Why is nobody but _you_ visiting now?” Tommy had asked one day, sitting on his bed and glaring daggers at Dream, who hovered just outside his tent. He was covered from head to toe with armour, and that damned smiling mask was covering his face as it always was. Tommy didn’t have to see his face to hear the smug smile, anyways.

“Probably because they’ve stopped caring enough to trudge all the way here.” Dream replied easily, crossing his arms and looking down at Tommy. The boy looked like he hadn’t properly slept in months-- And to be fair, that was probably true. His clothes were ripped, tattered, and dirty, and his hair was starting to grow long. “It is a pretty long way here. I always make the trip to see you though, Tommy.”

“They.. They wouldn’t really give up on me like that, would they?” Tommy asked, feeling his heart sink, and had to stop himself from tearing up. He was crying a lot easier these days, even the smallest thing could just break him and make him start crying. “At least some of them still care, right? Big Q! Ranboo! Ghostbur! They wouldn’t just.. Hate me.”

“Well..” Dream began to speak, his voice taking a more empathetic tone. Tommy would have assumed it was fake, and he still did… But it was comforting, he wanted to believe Dream felt bad. Tommy watched as Dream walked over, sitting down on the bed beside Tommy and placing his hand on his shoulder. “They might. They haven’t been saying the nicest things about you.”

“What?!” Tommy exclaimed, moving away from Dream and staring at him in shock. Sure, his friends haven’t been the _nicest_ to him, but he used to get visited by someone at least once a day. And sure, it had trickled down a bit, and then eventually just _stopped_ , but… He still couldn’t believe it. “What have they been saying? Who??” 

“Well I mean, it’s not like I remember _everything_ they say,” Dream replied with a casual shrug, as if it wasn’t new or shocking news to him at all. He turned to Tommy as he continued talking, tilting his head slightly. “Almost everyone has been happy in some way about you being gone. Much calmer and easier over there. Tubbo even mentioned it during one of his presidential speeches! Funny, isn’t it?”

“No! That’s not funny at _all_ !” Tommy shouted back, standing up from his bed and clenching his fists in anger. He felt tears start to well up in his eyes-- _Don’t cry don’t cry dont cry, please_ \-- And fought to hold them back as he continued shouting at the masked man in front of him. “Tubbo wouldn’t-- He.. He’s still my friend! He wouldn’t be happy that I’m _gone_ , he wouldn’t do that!”

“Oh… I’m so sorry, Tommy. But they all are truly happy that you’re gone.” Dream continued, pity in his voice. He stood up, walking over to Tommy, who flinched away slightly, and wrapping him in a tight hug. It was comforting, but a tight enough grasp that it hurt. “I’m so sorry I have to be the one to break it to you.”

“Why would-- They wouldn’t-- This can't be true--” Tommy sobbed out, tears finally spilling from his eyes. He broke down into tears, hugging Dream back. Tommy kept sobbing out nonsense about how his friends just _couldn’t_ have left him like that, and his tears soaked into Dream’s green hoodie.

“It’s okay, Tommy. I’m your friend, forever. I won’t leave.” Dream replied. The sympathy in his voice was gone, and his words were empty. But Tommy didn’t notice. He was too broken, too torn up, and too comforted in Dreams presence. Even if he didn’t mean it, he still said it. That was good enough.

That was a while ago now. Technoblade showed up once about a week later, and Tommy pushed him away, shouting something about how everyone was better without him. Nobody returned after that, apart from Dream, who came pretty regularly. Sometimes he just watched Tommy, other times he’d burn his items, and other times they’d enjoy eachothers company together.

How long had it been now, since he’d seen anybody except Dream? Tommy couldn’t quite remember. It was driving him insane. He often talked to animals or inanimate objects, for some sort of company or support. Or he stared at the photos he had of Tubbo and him, and cried. 

He felt shattered and broken sometimes. Tommy always woke up in the water, drowning, and couldn’t figure out why. Some days it was worse than others, and he couldn’t bear to even exist. Tommy found way after way to die, and he always repawned back in his tent, with tears in his eyes and feeling just as bad as before.

Sometimes, Tommy would walk down to his mine. It took long enough that he sometimes contemplated on if he should really do it or not. Then, he would walk through the caves until he found the small lava pool he always used. The heat would lick at his skin and sear it, making it painful before he even walked in. Sometimes he would walk in slowly, nervously.. And sometimes he would fall right in.

Other times, Tommy would look at the water, towards Dream SMP, towards his home and his friends. He would walk into the water till he reached the bottom, till he couldn’t hold his breath and he opened his mouth. He’d choke on water and panic and try to swim up… And die halfway through, still coughing water when he woke up on his bed.

He tried other things too. Pillaring up and jumping, feeling the stabbing of his bones breaking for a split second before waking up, and spending an hour destroying the dirt tower he made. Other times, at night, he’d walk into a group of mobs and stand there and wait. He’d get blown, beaten, and shot to death, only to wake up again as if it were nothing more than a bad nightmare.

Tommy always respawned back in his bed, with a faint ache of the pain that caused his death. Sometimes he felt a little bit better, and sometimes he felt worse than before. But no matter how many times he died, it wouldn’t be a fatal death-- His final death-- Not yet, at least. It wasn’t his time to die, as much as he wished it.

Dream told him that, too. Sometimes, on those hard days, Dream would rush over and comfort him, tell him it was okay and he’d always be here, and he wasn’t alone. He repeated, time and time again, “It’s not your time to die yet, Tommy.”

And, even if Tommy didn’t believe himself, and wished otherwise, he would always reply back, “It’s never my time to die.”

On better days, Tommy found ways to distract himself. He built several new buildings, all empty and abandoned. Then he stopped building. Instead, he started mining, getting new gear for himself… To be burned later. So Tommy stopped mining. It was painfully boring here, alone, and there wasn’t any purpose to anything he did anymore.

So, eventually, Tommy waited. Tommy would sit in front of the nether portal and wait for Dream. Just wait. Sometimes he counted the minutes in his head, sometimes he replayed memories (although not as often, they put a bitter taste in his mouth), and sometimes, he just sat there. His days were repetitive and empty, until Dream was there. 

Dream was all that mattered to him, now. Not his old home, not his friends, not Tubbo, not his disks.

Only Dream.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream has a little visit with Tommy.
> 
> TW: emotional manipulation, Dream generally being really mean

“Tommy?”

A voice suddenly spoke out, and Tommy’s head snapped up. Again, he had been sitting in front of the portal, waiting and waiting. He might have been asleep… Tommy couldn’t really remember if he was awake or not, or how long he had been sitting there for. That didn’t matter to him anymore, though, Dream was here!

“Oh! Dream! You’re here!” Tommy exclaimed, shooting up to his feet again. His voice was hoarse-- He hadn’t spoken out loud since.. The last time Dream was here. He hadn’t drank water, either. Or eaten. He had just… Waited. He ran over to Dream, holding onto his arm and grinning excitedly. “You’re back! What should we do today? Oh, oh wait!”

Before Dream even got a chance to speak, Tommy had begun digging a deep hole into the ground, not caring about the dirt that stained his arms and shirt. He began to toss all his tools and armour into the hole, although he didn’t have as much on him this time around. “Getting rid of my stuff, obviously! Let’s do that now, then afterwards we can do fun things! You and me!”

“Good. Thanks, Tommy..” Dream said after a moment of stunned silence. Sure, Tommy had gotten used to destroying his things almost every time Dream came, and sure, Tommy was usually excited to see him.. But more now than ever, it seemed. And… The way Tommy was sitting at the portal… It was in the same place and in the same position he sat down when Dream left a few days ago. Like he hadn’t moved an inch.

“There! Good! All ready!” Tommy said, stumbling to his feet and away from the hole filled with his items. He brushed the dirt off of his hands, though it did next to nothing to make him look any more clean or tidy. 

“Do you have any more items?” Dream asked, looking down at the hole and then back up at Tommy. It seemed like he emptied everything into the hole this time, not just his armour and tools, but Dream just wanted to check, just in case. 

“No, I don’t..” Tommy replied, his voice lowering. He thought for a few seconds, remembering the two chests he hid underground, the photos of Tubbo, some of his really good armour and tools… He had been hiding them from Dream for a long time now, they were the things he didn’t want to have to let go of. The things he wasn’t allowed to have.

“Tommy? Are you sure?” Dream asked, and for the first time in a while, his voice turned harsh. He had noticed the hesitation, the guilt in Tommy’s expression, and he knew that the boy was hiding something.

“I’m sorry-- Wait, I’ll go get it right now, Dream!” Tommy quickly replied, looking up at Dream and backing up a step, fear in his voice. Dream motioned for him to leave and go get it, and Tommy instantly nodded and began to run off into the wooden walls of Logstedshire. He walked into the small house in the back, lifting up a hidden trapdoor on the floor, and entered the small room below.

It had been quite a while since he had been in here. He didn’t see any use to look at the old photos anymore, or use his armour or tools anymore, or anything. They didn’t matter anymore, he told himself, yet a small voice inside his head protested otherwise. These were the last things he had left, other than the things in his enderchest… But he didn’t need them anymore. Dream would never hate him once he let go of them, right? 

Tommy lifted open one of the chests, the only one that was filled. Inside, a set of half-broken netherite armour, a few diamond and netherite tools, and… Four photos. He lifted one of the photos up, seeing a faded picture of him and Tubbo by a lake. Another photo, of Tubbo waving at the camera, another of Dream SMP, his home. 

He had to wipe the tears from his eyes, looking away from the photos. He would never go back to his home. He would never talk to his friends or Tubbo again, they didn’t care about him anymore. Some part of it hurt, but he had to let go. He had stopped truly caring about them a while ago, destroying these shouldn’t be this hard… But it was.

_I can’t let them go. They’re the only things I have left from back then…_ A small voice inside his head told him. His lip trembled, and he was on the verge of breaking out into tears. But his friends had stopped caring about him a long time ago, and Dream was the only one who cared now. So Tommy had to do the same, he had to stop caring about his past friends, and he had to do this. For Dream.

With a shuddering sigh, Tommy pocketed the photos, and lifted up everything else from the chest. He climbed up the ladder, trudging back over to Dream, when he felt a pang of fear in his chest. _How would he react to knowing I’ve hidden these for so long? What will he do to me?_ But regardless, he walked up to the hole and tossed the armour and tools into the pit.

“Where did you _get_ those?” Dream hissed, glaring at Tommy through his mask. Tommy had barely even moved since last time Dream was here, and the armour he had previously thrown in was _leather_. He couldn’t have grinded to get those, even in the few days Dream was away.

“I… I hid them from you, a while ago…” Tommy admitted, pure guilt in his voice. He flinched as Dream stepped forward, pulling out a bow. One Tommy had been hit by several times. Too many to count. Tommy looked up at Dream, shrinking down slightly in fear. “I’m sorry! I never should have hid them, I haven't used them for weeks now, I’m so sorry Dream!”

Dream walked forward again and shoved Tommy aside, who stumbled and almost fell from the force in the push. He placed a piece of TNT over the pit, and then backed up in preparation to shoot it.

“Wait-- Dream, wait!” Tommy exclaimed, and Dream turned to aim the bow at him. He was expecting Tommy to beg him not to destroy his items… But instead, Tommy fished out four photographs from his pocket, scampering up to Dream and quickly shoving them into his chest for him to take. “I have these too… I’m so sorry I hid them.. I don’t want them anymore, I’m so sorry…”

Dream seemed stunned for a second, and he lowered down his bow, grabbing the photos and looking at them. Over a month ago, he had demanded Tommy to put them in the hole to be destroyed, and he seemed to have smuggled them and hid them in safekeeping since then. Dream didn’t blame him, they were the last memories of him and Tubbo, and the Dream SMP as a whole. It wasn’t visible from behind the mask, but Dream grinned as he clenched the photos in his fist, crumpling them slightly.

Turning away from Tommy again, Dream moved the TNT to drop the photos into the pit, watching as they slowly drifted down, landing on top of everything else in the pile. He dropped the TNT again, and then backed away, and shot his arrow at the TNT. Him and Tommy watched the TNT ignite, fall into the hole, and then explode, along with all of the items. While Tommy reacted with tears, all Dream could do was smile.

“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Dream… Please forgive me, I shouldn’t have hid them, I should have given them up sooner…” Tommy pleaded, turning to face Dream with a sob. He was trembling, the poor kid, and he looked like he was on the brink of collapsing. “I can go get everything from my enderchest! I can let you destroy everything in my enderchest! Here, I’ll grab it now--”

Just as Tommy had started to walk off to his tent, where his enderchest lay, Dream grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving. His grip was painfully tight, but other than that, everything else about Dream seemed oddly calm, and he even sounded like he felt bad. “Tommy, no. It’s okay, you don’t have to destroy everything in your enderchest.”

“I don’t? So you forgive me?” Tommy asked hopefully, his voice breaking slightly. He looked back at Dream, tears still streaming down his eyes at a steady pace.

“No, I don’t. But thank you for telling me, and finally throwing those things away. Though, Tommy,” Dream’s voice went from calm to dark, and he twisted his arm slightly and tightened his grasp on Tommy’s wrist, which made it much more painful. “If I ever find out you’ve been breaking the rules and not doing what I say…” Dream leaned in closer, “ _You won’t get off with just a warning next time._ ”

“I won’t, I promise,” Tommy squeaked, his voice trembling just as much as his body was. He barely stifled his sobs, but couldn’t stop crying even if he tried. He stumbled for the right words to say, his voice hushed. “I’ll listen… You’re still my friend, right? Dream? I’m so sorry… You’re my only friend, please don’t hate me, I’m so sorry…”

“I’d never hate you Tommy. Of course I’m still your friend.” Dream replied, his voice calming down again. He let go of his hold on Tommy’s wrist, and instead hugged him. Like always, his hug was tight enough that it hurt, and it almost seemed like Tommy might break from how fragile he looked. 

“I’m sorry.. You’re all I have left, you’re all that matters now, Dream.. I’m sorry for hiding that from you.. I’m sorry…” Tommy mumbled through sobs, his tears soaking into Dreams sweater like they have many times before. Like every other time before, though, too, the hug comforted him. His sobs and nonsense words slowed down, till he was quiet, and almost seemed half asleep in Dream’s arms.

“Do you want to go lay down, Tommy?” Dream asked quietly. He looked down, seeing Tommy nod weakly in a response, obviously too tired to speak. Dream sighed quietly, picking up Tommy and carrying him over to his small tent. He placed Tommy down on his bed and draped the thin blanket over him, before sitting down on the floor and leaning his back against the bed to wait for Tommy to rest and wake up.

Tommy curled up in the sheets, still trembling lightly, either from the cold or from fear. It was hard to tell. He shifted slightly, so that his head was practically resting against Dream’s shoulder, and began to slowly drift off to sleep. He had trouble sleeping while he was alone, and the amount of human contact he got was very little nowadays.. So even just being near someone was enough to make him fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

Dream sighed quietly to himself as he heard Tommy start to snore. It was obvious he hadn’t slept in days, by the bags under his eyes, and how weak he was. Dream doubted if he had even ate, or drank anything either. He looked so frail, like the smallest touch would make him crumble into dust. He was dirty, too, his clothes almost completely torn, shredded, and burnt to pieces. His hair even looked brown from the amount of dirt, rather than the light blonde it used to be.

  
But… Now he was perfect. There was no doubt in Dream’s mind that Tommy would listen now. He would do anything Dream asked of him, and was quiet enough that he would be easy to deal with. He had got rid of the last things that still tied him to who he used to be, he had even _said_ that Dream was the only person he cared about now. That Dream was all that mattered. Dream almost felt bad, for how much torture Tommy had been through… _But the end justifies the means._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy starts getting his life back together.
> 
> TW: emotional manipulation (what else do you expect, Dream is like this in EVERY chapter of this fic)

Eventually, after hours of restful sleep, Tommy woke up again with the sun in his eyes, and Dream still sitting on the floor, beside his bed. He had slept better than he had in.. Months. And, for the first time in a long time, he didn’t wake up drowning in the ocean. His dreams of sunny days and a land he’d carved into a home fell away, and he soon forgot what he had been dreaming about.

“Morning, Tommy.” Dream spoke once he noticed Tommy had woken up. He turned to look at him, pulling up his hood again and covering his light brown hair. Dream stood up not too long afterwards, dusting himself off. “Seems like you got a pretty good sleep.”

“Yeah,” Tommy replied quietly with a yawn as he sat up, and then rubbed his eyes. He was still tired, he had been tired for months now, but he wasn’t quite tired enough to go back to sleep. And he wanted to spend time with Dream before he inevitably left again… “It’s the first time I’ve woken up in my bed..”

Dream had been shuffling through his enderchest trying to look for something, but he turned to face Tommy sharply when said it was the first time waking up in his bed. The gentle tone in his voice had vanished, and he tilted his head curiously. “First time you’ve woken up in your bed? What do you mean by that?” 

“Oh… I almost always wake up, drowning in the ocean… It might be sleepwalking, but you were there, and I got a better sleep, so that must’ve been why it didn’t happen this time.” Tommy replied, glancing out to the ocean where he usually woke up to water filling his lungs. It was unpleasant, but he had gotten used to the feeling.

“So… You’re telling me that you woke up drowning almost every day, and never told me?” Dream asked, his tone a little harsher as he slammed shut the enderchest and turned to completely face Tommy, who had shrunken down slightly and was avoiding eye contact with him.

“I’m sorry, Dream.. I just never thought to mention it.” Tommy replied quietly. The first times it started happening, Tommy was still angry at Dream, and wouldn’t trust him with anything, especially not knowing how he almost died every time he woke up. And once Dream became his friend, and Tommy trusted him, it had just become commonplace, and not important enough to be mentioned. 

“It’s fine,” Dream said with a small sigh, but he walked over to Tommy, his hands resting casually in his pockets, and he leaned close with a dark tone in his voice. “But next time, tell me things like that. You still want to be my friend, right? Don’t hide things from me  _ ever _ again.”

“I will.. I promise.” Tommy replied quietly, guilt in his voice. He couldn’t even bear to think about what would happen if Dream left him. He’d have nothing… All he’d have is an empty Logstedshire and himself. “Please don’t leave me Dream.. I won’t do it again.”

“Good. That’s the spirit, Tommy!” Dream replied, with a much happier tone. He patted Tommy on the shoulder, a smug grin hiding behind his mask. The kind of grin from a man who’s won something. “Now.. How about we get you cleaned up? I doubt you’ve taken a shower or anything of the sort in months now. I’ll make you a little bath, and you can wash all that dirt off.”

“Oh.. Really? Thanks,” Tommy replied, forcing himself to sound happy as well, though he still felt… Off. He was still extremely nervous, and he still felt just… Hopeless. But, hey, maybe cleaning himself up a bit would make him feel better. 

“Of course.” Dream replied, before walking out of the tent. Tommy stood up from his bed, trailing slightly behind him. He didn’t really want to be alone, anyways, even if Dream was just a few steps away. He watched as Dream walked into one of the small houses Tommy had constructed, placing down cobblestone in a circle, and grabbing a bucket of water from his inventory, before dumping it into the small, makeshift bath. It wasn’t the best, but it was better than nothing.

“I’ll leave a fresh set of clothes outside the door for you.” Dream simply commented, before walking out of the house, and shutting the door behind him. Tommy waited a few seconds, before taking off his tattered clothes, which were all half falling off anyways. Most of them, he just tossed to the other side of the room without care, but he carefully set aside the green bandana he wore. He had tried to keep it clean and keep it from tearing, but it was almost as bad as the rest of his clothes. Sure, Tubbo didn’t care for him anymore, and he probably threw away his matching bandana.. But it still meant something to Tommy, even if it was just a bitter reminder.

Tommy sighed, getting into the bath. The water was icy cold, and it stung his skin, but Tommy had grown used to the feeling. From several times drowning himself, intentional or not, cold water had stopped affecting him. The thing that  _ did _ make him freeze up, was him noticing all the cuts, bruises, and scars along his skin. He had explosion scars from the times he was standing too close when Dream blew up his items, and cuts and bruises from him accidentally getting hurt, or from his purposeful deaths. He never realized how  _ many _ scars he had now, though, until now.

He shook away those thoughts, rubbing at his skin and trying to get the dirt off. It took a long time, but washing his hair took even longer. The dirt was practically caked into his hair, and it took a lot of brushing his hands through his hair so hard he almost tore it out for it to finally get clean. Eventually, though, Tommy had cleaned himself up best he could, and he stepped out of the bath and dried himself off.

Tommy opened the door just a crack, grabbing the clothes that Dream had left just outside. It wasn’t his normal clothes, which made him a little disappointed, but they still looked comfortable. He had been given slightly baggy black jeans, a black turtleneck, some bright green sneakers, and a red sweater that was just a size too big for him. He slipped on the clothes, and instantly felt how much more comfortable they were. Maybe it was just him having worn torn clothes for weeks now, but these felt so much better. 

He went to walk out of the house, before noticing his green bandana sitting on the edge of the cobblestone bathtub. He grabbed it, rolling up his hoodie sleeve and tying it around his wrist, and then covering it with his sleeve again. Maybe one day he’d destroy that bandana, too, but it was the one thing he just couldn’t get himself to let go of.

With a sigh, Tommy exited the house, looking around for Dream before spotting him on the bench, staring out into the horizon as he waited for Tommy. He ran over to Dream, a newfound spring in his step, and placed his hands on the bench as he leaned forward. “Heyy Dream!”

“You seem much happier now,” Dream noted, turning to face Tommy. His hair was noticeably lighter, and seemed much fluffier, too. He was smiling for once, and it didn’t look as forced as it usually did. The clean clothes helped a lot more, too, and Tommy and Dream were practically wearing the same outfit, save for the colour of the sneakers and hoodie, and how Dream wore his hoodie with his sleeves rolled up. “You look much better, too.”

“Yeah, I definitely feel better,” Tommy said with a smile, moving to sit on the bench beside Dream. He slid his hands into his pockets, sighing at how comfortable he finally felt. There was still a bad, nagging feeling in the back of his mind… But it had been there for so long that it just felt normal. This wasn’t the happiest he’s ever been, but it was the happiest he’s felt in quite a while now.

Tommy scooted closer to Dream, before leaning against him, and feeling his stress leave him. He felt okay when Dream was with him, his presence being an escape from the crushing loneliness he had constantly felt after being exiled. He would be okay, as long as he wasn’t alone. He didn’t want to be alone, not again.

“Tommy, have you eaten at all since last time I was here?” Dream asked, glancing over at Tommy, almost seeming.. Worried for him. Dream had never really cared about Tommy’s wellbeing at all, so this sudden act of kindness just made Tommy trust him more. Dream really  _ was _ his friend. Right? Yeah. Yeah! He was.

“Uh.. No. Not really..” Tommy replied quietly, almost expecting Dream to snap out at him for saying that. Instead, though, Dream calmly fished out some steak from his inventory, handing it to Tommy. Tommy suddenly realized how painfully  _ hungry _ he was, grabbing the food and beginning to eat for the first time in days.

“You really need to take care of yourself.” Dream told him, in almost the same tone he would use when telling Tommy to throw his items away. The same scolding voice that Tommy feared. Even if Dream was being nice, it still made Tommy shrink down slightly. He nodded in response, finishing the steak he was given. 

“Thank you, Dream.” Tommy mumbled, resting his head against Dream’s shoulder. He couldn’t help but smile when Dream wrapped his arm around him, and Tommy sighed happily. The only thing that could make this moment better was a music disc.

As if he had been reading Tommy’s mind, Dream stood up, grabbing a disc out of his inventory, and walking over to the jukebox nearby. Tommy couldn’t catch what the disc was, but once Dream slipped it into the jukebox and it started playing, Tommy knew instantly. It was Cat. His disc. His prized possession.

“You have Cat!” Tommy shouted, shooting up to his feet and placing his hands on the jukebox, looking down at it. He couldn’t decide whether to be excited that his disc was there, playing, or angry that Dream had it and was almost  _ taunting _ him with it.

“Yes, I do. Mellohi, too.” Dream replied, snickering as Tommy swivelled to stare at Dream with shock and anger. “ _ Your _ discs. And who knows, you might get them back sooner or later. Now c’mon, sit back down, Tommy.”

Tommy looked from Dream, to the jukebox, and then back to Dream before sighing and sitting back down beside him, resting his head on his shoulder again. “You.. Never told me you had my discs.”

“Well, you know now, don’t you? And as I said, you might get them back sooner or later. Depends on how you act, though, Tommy.” Dream replied casually, though his last sentence was stern, and made Tommy go quiet almost instantly. Cat continued to play in the background, which lightened the mood a little bit.

“I have a question for you, Tommy.” Dream spoke up after a minute of calm silence between the two. He sounded thoughtful, but almost excited at the same time, although his voice was quite calm. He fidgeted with something in his left hand, and Tommy tried to peek out and figure out what it was, but he couldn’t see it. 

“What?” Tommy asked, looking up at Dream. He still couldn’t see his face from behind the mask, which annoyed him at times, but he didn’t dare ask Dream to take off the mask. Tommy instead focused on whatever Dream would ask. It was probably something not that important, it was probably something bad… Tommy tensed up nervously as Dream began to speak again--

“How would you feel about going back to the Dream SMP?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy might be going home, but with a few rules, and a gift.
> 
> TW: suicidal thoughts/mentions, more of Dream being manipulative (obviously)
> 
> ALSO please read the chapter notes for this chapter at the bottom once you are done reading! thanks!

“I can go **_back_ ** ?!” Tommy exclaimed, his eyes lighting up in excitement, and he shot out of his seat on the bench, looking back at the nether portal. His friends, his home, everything, everything! He’d get it all back, he’d finally feel okay again! Maybe he could forgive Tubbo, they could become best friends again… He’d forgive everyone, he just didn’t want to be alone, he just wanted to be _back_. 

He could almost see it now. Tommy would run through the portal, and there would be all his friends, waiting for him. He would jump into Tubbo’s arms, hugging him tighter than he ever has. Everyone would talk about how much they missed him, and he’d say the same, even to _Technoblade_ of all people. They would all go to the bench, and he would play a music disc-- Blocks? Chirp? Maybe even Cat or Mellohi! And all of them would laugh and joke and party until dawn.

“Tommy. Calm down.” Dream replied firmly, his voice breaking Tommy out of his daydream, and he reluctantly went quiet, rubbing his arm nervously and looking away with a nod. Dream stood up as well as he spoke, towering over Tommy. “You _can_ go back, but… I have a few rules.”

“Rules? Okay, what rules? It’s fine, I’ll follow them! I just want to go back, and see my friends--” Tommy began to ramble, unable to hold back his excitement. He had been waiting _months_ , hoping and wishing and praying to go back to the Dream SMP. To his home, and his friends, _and Tubbo._

“I said _calm down_!” Dream snapped, watching as Tommy flinched back and looked down again, going completely silent. Dream waited a few seconds, checking to make sure Tommy stayed quiet this time, before speaking again. “You still aren’t technically allowed back, Tubbo has forbidden it and said you will be exiled permanently.”

Dream paused, watching to see Tommy look up with a defeated, almost hurt expression as his dreams shattered into pieces. Tommy held back tears, and didn’t speak again, which Dream reacted to with a triumphant smile from behind his mask. 

“So, the rules are simple.” Dream started, counting on his fingers as he listed each rule that he gave Tommy. “Stay with me at all times, unless I say otherwise. Don’t speak to anybody unless they say something to you first. And the last, and most important rule; Do _not_ show anybody who you actually are. This means hiding your whole identity, and not acting like those people are your _friends._ ”

“No, wait, I..” Tommy spoke up, much quieter than before, and tried to keep his voice down, although he was clearly starting to panic. “What about my friends? I can’t go back to them, they’ll never know that I’m back and I’m okay?”

“Tommy, you’re forgetting that they _aren’t_ your friends anymore.” Dream replied, tilting his head slightly and placing his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. His voice was almost empathetic, loosing the harsh tone he was speaking with earlier. “Remember how they haven’t visited, or even contacted you in months now? Do you remember when you hosted a party and sent invites to everybody, and _I was the only one who came?_ ”

“Yeah, I remember…” Tommy quietly replied back. He remembered it in full clarity, how that day felt. How alone he was with every passing moment. How the rain soaked into his clothes and left him shivering and cold. The searing heat from the nether as he ran along the bridge, in anger and panic. His compass, dangling over a lava pool, waiting to be dropped. Nobody but Dream being there for him. “I just.. Maybe if I go back, everything could be normal again…”

“If you go back, you’ll be met with a permadeath.” Dream argued, “And it won’t. They wanted you gone. Tubbo exiled you, left you behind and out of his life completely, and wouldn’t hesitate to throw you out if he sees you back. The others aren’t much better, either. They’ll either tell Tubbo, or kill you themselves.” 

“I _know_ they hate me, but… That much?” Tommy asked, his voice breaking. He felt tears bubble up in his eyes as he looked up at Dream. The last sliver of hope he had for his old life, for his friends, for _everything_ , snapped in his mind. He broke down into tears, sobbing louder than he ever had before, and covering his face with his hands. “What use is going back?! What use does _anything_ have anymore?!”

“Tommy, Tommy, shh.. It’s okay,” Dream cooed, bringing Tommy into a gentle hug and rubbing his back soothingly. Tommy hugged him back, shaking in his arms with every sob. “Don’t say that. You still have me, and you always will. You don’t need them to be happy anymore. You can stay with me, on the Dream SMP, and you’ll never feel alone again.”

“But.. My frien-- My ex friends, I’ll still see them, it'll still hurt.. I don’t want to be back unless I’m _dead_.” Tommy sobbed, shaking his head and hugging Dream tighter. If he couldn’t go back to the life he had before, then he didn’t want to continue with life at all.

“It’s okay, Tommy… It will stop hurting eventually, and you’ll have me to help. I won’t let you die.” Dream comforted, his voice dropping to a whisper. The two both went quiet for a long time, other than Tommy’s sobs and sniffles as he continued crying, but even those started to die down quietly.

“So, what do you say, Tommy?” Dream pulled away from the hug, kneeling down slightly to be face-to-face with Tommy. His eyes were still puffy and his face was still red from crying, but he had calmed down considerably, compared to minutes before. “You come with me back to Dream SMP, you’ll never be alone again, and you’ll get another shot at being happy again?”

“Yeah.. Yeah. Okay, Dream.” Tommy mumbled after a few seconds of thought. He still felt broken beyond repair, knowing for sure now that he’d never return to the life he had before, and the friends he had before. But… He had Dream. As long as he had Dream, he could bear to stay alive, to survive long enough to have a happy ending. He hoped, at least.

“Good! Now.. To make sure nobody recognizes you and knows that you’re back, I made a little gift for you, Tommy.” Dream said, a gentle smile evident in his voice. He reached into the satchel he wore, pulling an object out and handing it to Tommy. It was a white mask, with a sad face imprinted on it. Almost identical to Dream’s. 

Tommy was quiet as he grabbed the mask, gently tossing it around in his hands. It had a red ribbon looped into it, to tie it around his head, and it was the perfect size and looked like it would fit snugly on his face. Dream definitely made it himself… He had been planning this for a while now, it seemed. 

“Oh…” Tommy mumbled quietly, an expression of shock on his face. The thought of having and wearing a mask that looked so similar to Dream put him slightly on edge, for some reason. But, despite that, he put on a forced smile as he looked up at Dream. “Thanks.. I love it.”

“Good. I’m glad you do.” Dream replied, standing up straight again and placing his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. He looked down at Tommy, and tilted his head as he spoke again. “Go ahead and try it on. I want to see how it looks!”

“Alright..” Tommy replied with a soft sigh. He placed the mask against his face, tying the ribbon at the back, and fastening it against his head. It felt weirdly comfortable, and not as suffocating as he expected it to. He could still see with it on, too, almost as if he weren’t wearing it at all. He looked up at Dream, forcing a smile onto his face.

“You look perfect.” Dream commented with a grin, staring down at Tommy. The little sad face on his mask was quite fitting, though even the mask looked happier than Tommy ever did. It was much easier to look at him now, the bags under his eyes and the bandages on his skin being covered up completely. Now, he just looked like a little version of himself, but sadder. 

“Thanks..” Tommy mumbled back, reaching up to touch his mask. He didn’t want to wear it, if he was being honest.. But Dream liked it, and Dream was his friend… And hey, if they were friends, maybe them being matching wasn’t that bad. It was pretty cool, actually. Best friends with matching outfits and matching masks. 

“Now… We should start getting ready to leave, and head to the SMP.” Dream spoke up after a few seconds, moving to the jukebox and slipping out the disc, putting it back into his inventory for safekeeping. “If you have anything here you want to keep, grab it now.”

“I don’t think so.” Tommy replied, shaking his head. He’d rather abandon everything here, he didn’t care about it anymore. The only things he cared about were thrown into the hole and exploded. But that was for the best, and it always was. He needed a fresh start, Dream was right. “We can go.”

“Are you sure? You have nothing here that you don’t want to leave behind?” Dream asked, a little bit shocked. He started to walk to the nether portal, with Tommy trailing close behind him. “The prime log? Any of your items you’ve collected? The pictures placed around?”

“No.. None of that matters to me anymore.” Tommy replied, shaking his head. Even those didn’t matter to him. The only items that mattered to him anymore were in his enderchest, and he could always go and grab them out of another enderchest in the SMP, once he got there. “Lets go..”

“Alright then, if you say so.” Dream replied with a shrug, walking up to the nether portal and stepping through it. Tommy rushed to catch up with him, grabbing onto his arm and holding it as they walked into the nether. He hadn’t been in the nether for weeks now, after Dream forbade him from entering the nether at all. 

He understood why. Tommy had spent so much time staring down at the endless sea of lava below him. He always wanted to jump. Dream told him that he stopped him from going into the nether for that reason, he was worried about him. While doing that didn’t stop Tommy from doing it in other ways, it at least made it harder for him to do so, and as a result, he wouldn’t do it as often.

But as the heat of the nether licked at his skin, and he walked onto the pathway, seeing the lava below, it all came rushing back to him. The urge to step forward and let himself fall. He went still, staring down at the lava as panic rose in his chest. Tommy was snapped out of those thoughts as he felt Dream’s hand on his shoulder, pulling him back and away from the edge.

“Tommy. Come on, let’s get going.” Dream said, letting go of his shoulder and starting to walk down the bridge. Tommy nodded, grabbing onto Dream’s arm as he walked with him to the portal. He still felt nervous being in the nether, but.. It was easier with Dream there.

“I guess.. If I’m not allowed to tell everyone that I’m me… I shouldn’t say my name is Tommy?” Tommy spoke up as he saw the portal to the Dream SMP pop into view. They were so close to being there… Tommy was so close to being out of exile for _good._

“Yeah. If you want to make a new name for yourself, go ahead.” Dream replied, moving his arm away and forcing Tommy to let go as they arrived in the portal room. 

“Yeah… I guess I will.” Tommy replied, walking up to the portal. This was it. His entrance back to the SMP, the start to… His new life. His hands trailed along the obsidian of the portal as he thought about it. His new life, with his best friend Dream, back in his old home. 

_“Let me tell you a story, Tommy_ . _” Techno had spoken once, months ago, when L’manberg was blown to pieces just when he thought it was getting better. Tommy watched in horror as Techno moved forward, a malicious grin on his face._

_“A story of a man called Theseus.”_

“I’m going to call myself Theo.” Tommy said with a smile, facing back at Dream, and then walking into the nether portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY!! i decided to put chapter notes for this chapter because i have two important things to say!!
> 
> firstly, thank you guys so SO much for the support on this fic so far!!! it means a lot to me <3 so thank you!
> 
> secondly, i drew designs for both tommy and dream in this au, so if you would like to check that out, heres the link: https://nerdsinc.artspace.at/post/637883194370310144/i-finally-got-around-to-making-refs-for-my-au-and
> 
> thanks!!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter! more to come soon :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy is finally allowed to return back to the SMP.
> 
> TW: slight emotional manipulation?

The light almost blinded him as he walked through the portal, appearing back on the SMP. The sun was bright in the sky, lighting up the familiar world around him. It was so comforting, but so odd at the same time. He felt a pang of fear, even though he knew Dream was letting him come back. It still felt wrong to be here, but it still felt so amazing to be back.

“Theo is a good name,” Dream’s voice spoke up. He had exited the portal and looked around to make sure nobody was nearby before he spoke. Tommy barely regarded what he said, looking around and beginning to run around, not even sure what to do or where to go first. “Nice to be back, huh?”

“Yeah! This is _amazing_!” Tommy exclaimed, turning around to grin at Dream, though he forgot it wasn’t visible with his mask on. “Can I go walk along the prime path, Dream? Come on, let's go walk down it!”

“Alright, sure, let’s go.” Dream replied. He was the one to be following Tommy this time, and they started to walk down the long wooden path. Tommy looked around excitedly as they both walked down the path, smiling at the old things he recognized, and gasping in awe at the new things that have been built.

Soon enough, they started to approach where his old home lay. Tommy began to run, pushing the gates open, and rushing to his house… His house? He stopped in the middle of the path, looking at where his house used to be. Nothing was there. It had been rebuilt to look like the hill it originally was, and everything was gone. The only thing of his that remained was his bench, and his jukebox.

“What happened to my house…?” Tommy asked, his voice breaking. If he still had tears in him, he would have cried, but instead all he could do was feel a sinking feeling in his chest. He turned to face Dream, who calmly walked up to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry… I should have warned you, Tubbo got rid of it not too long ago.” Dream told him, pity in his voice. What he purposefully left out, though, was the fact that he did it himself. Without Tubbo, or anybody else knowing. He would much rather prefer Tommy think that Tubbo was behind it.

“At least I still have my bench, I guess…” Tommy mumbled, moving away to go sit on his bench. At least Tubbo cared enough to not destroy it… Either that, or he forgot about it altogether. Tommy rubbed at his wrist, where the bandana was. Tubbo probably didn’t care at all for him anymore, then. But he had Dream… Dream was a much better friend than Tubbo.

“Yeah, see? And, hey, we can always build a new house together. How ‘bout that?” Dream added, his voice calm and happy. He leaned against the back of the bench, looking down at Tommy, who had curled up into a ball. He reached over, pulling up Tommy’s hood for him. “They might recognize you by your hair. Let’s just be careful.”

“Right, yeah. I forgot about that..” Tommy replied quietly. His hair was mostly hid by both the hood and his mask, but a few tufts of blonde hair were still showing. He brushed the hair behind his mask to hide it more, and tugged his hood forward a bit. “Thanks, Dream.”

“Mhm, of course.” Dream replied, reaching over and ruffling his hair even though his hood was still on. This made his hair stick out, and Tommy quickly brushed his hair behind his mask again. “You remember the rules, right, _Theo?_ ”

“Yes, I do..” Tommy quietly responded back. He began to list off the rules, as if he’d been subconsciously repeating them in his head since Dream first told him them. “Stay with you at all times, don’t talk to someone unless they say something to me first, hide who I actually am.”

“Good job!” Dream replied, patting Tommy’s shoulder, and turning to partially face him. Tommy was still staring at the ground, avoiding eye-contact. “Now… I’m going to expand on those rules, just a bit.”

“First of all, you have to do anything I ask you to. Without hesitating, fighting, asking questions… Anything like that.” Dream told him outright, not even bothering to try and sugarcoat anything. He was a little surprised when Tommy just… Nodded.

“..Anything?” Tommy asked after a moment of hesitation, glancing up at Dream nervously. There were so many things he just.. Didn’t _want_ to do, and he didn’t quite want everything he did to be controlled by Dream… But Dream was his best friend, it wasn’t like he would just say _no_ , either.

“Yes, anything. Don’t worry too much, though, Tom-- Theo.” Dream replied, slipping up on Tommy’s new name. He patted Tommy’s shoulder again comfortingly with a smile. “I won’t make you do anything _horrible_. I just want to make sure you don’t step out of line, and make any mistakes, got it?”

“Yeah.. I understand.” Tommy replied, looking away again and staring out into the sky. He calmed down again, no longer worrying about the added rule. He trusted Dream not to make him do anything truly horrible. He trusted Dream whole-heartedly.

“Good. Next thing I just want to mention, is how you should _act._ ” Dream began to speak again, reaching over and tilting Tommy’s chin towards him, so they were making direct eye contact. “You need to be… A completely different person, so to say. You need to act shy and meek, no going around yelling and thinking you can do whatever you want, like you _used_ to. You’re Theo now, not Tommy.”

“Alright, I will.” Tommy replied quietly, not daring to look away again, even as Dream dropped his hold on his chin. He could barely imagine him going back to his old self, anyways. Acting quiet wouldn’t be too hard when he didn’t have the strength to be loud and eccentric again, anyways. Tommy went a bit quieter as he repeated Dream’s words to himself, “Theo, not Tommy.”

“Act like you’re too shy to talk to anyone, that’s why you’re constantly with me and avoid everyone else. Act like… A pushover, for the same reason too. You’re too shy and nervous, so you don’t want to mess up by doing something wrong or _not_ doing something you’re asked to.” Dream continued to instruct, Tommy nodding along quietly to everything he said. 

“Okay.. I will.” Tommy replied quietly, before sighing under his breath. He continued chanting ‘Theo, not Tommy’, to himself in his mind, as an easy way to constantly remind himself of how he should act.

“Good! See, you’re already getting it,” Dream grinned, crossing his arms in a satisfied way as he looked down at Tommy. Even if Tommy wasn’t meaning to do it, which he wasn’t, he was doing a perfect job at playing the role he was supposed to play. 

Suddenly, brisk footsteps were heard walking down the prime path, and Tommy got off of the bench, standing beside Dream to see who was approaching them. Part of him hoped it would be Tubbo, but instead, a black and white half-enderman walked up to them. 

“Oh, hey Dream!” Ranboo said with a smile, pausing and waving at Dream, before looking curiously at Tommy and tilting his head. It was obvious that he, thankfully, didn’t recognize him, because the next thing he asked was, “Oh-- And who are you? I haven’t seen you before yet!”

“This is Theo, my protégé.” Dream replied, before Tommy could get a chance to speak up and introduce himself. Dream smiled under his mask as he noticed Tommy nervously inch closer to him and cast his gaze down towards the ground.

“Protégé?” Ranboo mimicked in confusion, tilting his head. He seemed to have never heard that word before, but to be fair, Tommy never had either. “Uh… What is that, exactly?”

“It basically means he’s my apprentice, Ranboo.” Dream explained, crossing his arms. “But that’s all you really need to know.”

“Alright! Well, it’s nice to meet you, Theo!” Ranboo replied with a smile, directing his gaze onto Tommy again. He stuck out his hand for Tommy to shake, and Tommy nervously shook his hand. Ranboo’s handshake was enthusiastic but gentle, and it made Tommy remember how much he missed human contact-- The only kind he had gotten in the past few months was from Dream.

“Nice to meet you, too.” Tommy replied, keeping his voice quiet and pulling his hand back again before sticking it in his pockets. He didn’t even look up at Ranboo, and didn’t see the kind smile directed towards him.

“Well, I should be on my way then. Good to see you Dream-- And you too, Theo!” Ranboo told them, waving good-bye and heading back down the prime path and away from them. He didn’t even glance at where Tommy’s old house used to be, not even once… He really must have forgotten about Tommy, just like everybody else.

“..You did really good, Theo.” Dream said when Ranboo was finally out of sight. He wrapped his arm around Tommy comfortingly, and Tommy reacted to this by leaning closer to Dream with a small sigh.

“Thanks, Dream…” He quietly replied. He was smiling for once, but that was covered by the mocking frown on his mask. “It was.. Nice, seeing Ranboo again, I guess.”

“Yeah. I’m sure you’ll get a chance to meet up with and talk to everybody else soon, too.” Dream added, before moving away and beginning to walk down the wooden path, and down towards new L’manberg. “Should we continue looking around now? A _lot_ has changed since you were exiled.”

“LIke what..?” Tommy asked, moving quicker to follow behind Dream, looking around at everything still as he did. It definitely looked different, but it looked almost exactly the same at the same time. 

“Well.. Lot’s of new people have joined. Technoblade was un-exiled and Philza was put off of house arrest, and both of them have been forgiven for their crimes. Lots of new things have been built, as well.” Dream began to catch him up on the events of the SMP in the months and months he was still exiled, not even glancing back at Tommy for a second.

“Really? _Technoblade_ was unexiled, but not me?” Tommy asked, hatred seeping into his voice. He was still angry for everything Technoblade had done, for killing Tubbo and blowing up L’manberg, and then blaming it all on him. It only made him angrier, though, knowing that _he_ had been forgiven… All the while Tommy was wasting away in exile.

“Yes, he was.. I’m sorry to say, Theo.” Dream replied, pity in his voice, although he kept walking and never stopped to comfort him at all. “You need to stop saying things like that, though. What if someone overhears, and finds out who you really are?”

“Right… Yeah, Theo not Tommy…” Tommy mumbled to himself, before continuing to say those three words over and over again in his mind. He couldn’t slip up, he was _Theo_ , he wasn’t Tommy anymore. “Is there.. Anything else that’s happened?”

“Not much, no. But L’manberg is growing more and more every day…” Dream replied, as L’manberg started to become visible in the distance. Tommy beamed in excitement, but Dream seemed to grow a little frustrated as he kept talking. “What we need to do is make sure they don’t get _too_ much control. I’ll talk to you about that later, though, Theo.”

“Alright.” Tommy nodded, though he couldn’t help himself from getting a little nervous. What did Dream mean by that? What was his plan? How would he be forced to help? Tommy’s thoughts were broken as they walked up to the entrance to L’manberg, and Tommy stepped inside, a smile donning his face under the mask.

L’manberg. His home. The country he fought so hard for.

Tommy’s smile wavered, before dropping completely, and he clenched his fists with anger as he looked around.

L’manberg. The nation Tubbo gave up Tommy for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter before the holidays!! regular chapter posting should resume after the 26th :)  
> merry christmas to those who celebrate it, and happy holidays to those who dont!! thank you for reading!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Dream have an unexpected meeting with somebody.

Tommy’s steps slowed down on the wooden path as he walked inside of L’manberg. It wasn’t busy, per se, nobody was really around, but the place itself seemed full of activity. The humming of bees and splashing of fish was lightly audible in the background, and floating lanterns hung around in the air. Tommy remembered creating one or two of them himself, and sending them up and into the air. 

A few houses lined the docks as well, and peering through the windows, he could see that each house was decorated and well lived in. In one of the houses, two black cats bounded up to the window upon seeing Tommy, meowing at him and pawing at the window. He laughed lightly, catching sight of their nametags; Enderpearl and Enderchest.

“Hey there..” Tommy whispered, pressing his hand to the glass, and laughing lightly as both of the cats tried to sniff his hand or paw at him from the other side. He heard Dream’s footsteps approach him, and then felt Dream casually place his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. 

“That’s Ranboo’s house. His cats too, he has a lot of pets.” Dream commented, giving a small smile to the two cats, who scampered away from the window, Enderchest taking a moment to hiss at Dream before running off behind Enderpearl.

“They look cute,” Tommy replied, before turning away from the window and walking along the docks, looking around with wide eyes. The lanterns twinkled in the darkening sky as the sun was only just beginning to set, and everything was set in a comfortable, warm glow. 

“Mhm.” Dream hummed, following just behind Tommy, his hands rested casually in his pockets. He watched as the other practically ran around, poking at every little thing in awe. He wasn’t shocked-- Tommy hadn’t been out of Logstedshire for months now. He knew how much Tommy had been dreaming of coming back. 

One of the lanterns in the air slowly drifted down near Tommy, who walked over to it, gently lifting it back up into the air again and watching it fly off into the sky with a smile. It felt much warmer here, it felt _alive_ , it felt like home. Not his home… But just like home. 

Tommy’s eyes were dragged to the walls, where posters had been plastered on time and time again. The bottom one was a wanted poster for Technoblade, but several other posters had been placed over it in time, most of them just joked between the other members of the server. Jokes he had missed out on.

As nice as it was to be here, it felt bittersweet. This really wasn’t his home anymore, it was somewhere he used to know, but it had grown into an unfamiliar place. Nothing was the same. His friends wouldn’t get a chance to ever know it was truly him, and he’d never get a chance to return to the life he had before. But was the life he had before really worth it, when nobody really cared about him after all?

But Dream cared. Dream was always honest, even when the things he said hurt, at least he never lied to Tommy about what he felt. Dream cared, he really did. He spent days of his life with Tommy, spending all that time to travel all the way to Logstedshire just to be with him, for nothing in return. He sighed, his hand falling from the posters he had been looking at.

“Dream. What are you doing here?” A voice spoke up, and Tommy turned to look. It took him a few seconds to really register who he was seeing, but then it suddenly clicked. It was Tubbo, in his whole president getup, his focus on Dream, rather than him.

“I’m just taking him for a tour,” Dream replied simply, his gaze still focused on Tubbo even when he gestured towards Tommy. Tommy quickly stood up straight, waving nervously at Tubbo.

“Alright, that’s fine.” Tubbo still had a suspicious tone in his voice and narrowed his eyes, but he focused on Tommy instead, crossing his arms. “Who are you, then?”

Tommy glanced at Dream for guidance, starting to panic a little bit. Instead of speaking for him, Dream simply just nodded. Tommy had to introduce _himself_ , this time. To Tubbo. His ex-best friend. Who didn’t know it was him. He gulped nervously, fidgeting with the green bandana around his wrist, under his hoodie. “I.. I’m Theo. Dream’s protégé. Or accomplice. Or whatever.”

“Hm.. Alright, well, nice to meet you.” Tubbo replied, sticking his hand out for a handshake. Tommy glanced down to shake his hand, and that was when he realized… The red bandana Tubbo used to always keep wrapped around his wrist was gone. The one thing tying them together. 

“Nice to meet you too.” Tommy replied simply, _Don’t let your anger show, don’t let your anger show,_ and moved his hand back. He didn’t understand why Tubbo would take it off… No, no, he did, but he didn’t want to believe it. But Dream really was right, Tubbo really didn’t give a shit about him anymore. 

“Theo, come on. Let’s get going now.” Dream spoke up, tilting his head to gesture for Tommy to walk over to him, which he did. Tommy felt almost relieved to walk away from Tubbo, standing close beside Dream as both of them walked off. 

Before walking away, Tommy glanced sparingly at Tubbo, who was watching Dream leave, not him. The two made eye contact for just a second, before Tubbo’s expression turned to a small glare, and he turned away from the two to leave as well.

“Thanks, Dream…” Tommy mumbled quietly, once they were out of earshot. This whole day had been stressful, at least compared to the routines he had gotten used to in exile, but meeting Tubbo again made the rest of the day seem easy. Tubbo seemed so… Sour. And no part of him seemed to recognize Tommy, which was for the best and was intended, but it still hurt.

“Of course, Theo.” Dream replied, a small smile leaking into his tone. Tommy leaned close to him, and Dream wrapped his arm around him comfortingly. “Gonna have to get used to calling you that.”

“Heh.. yeah.” Tommy replied with a small laugh, but he couldn’t get the nagging dread out of his head. _Why did Tubbo not care? Why was the bandana gone? Why did he not recognize him? Why did he give up on him?_

“So, how was it seeing everything?” Dream asked, though he could easily tell the answer anyways. He could hear the small, sad fade in Tommy’s tone, or the way he leaned in for more comfort than he usually did.

“Good, I guess. Bittersweet.” Tommy answered with a shrug, his voice falling slightly as he continued on. “It was... Weird, to see Tubbo.”

“Yeah. I didn’t intend for you to have to meet him so early.” Dream replied, and he held Tommy closer, almost in a side-hug. “Tubbo doesn’t trust or like me very much, at all. So, by extension, he’ll feel almost the same about you. I should have warned you, but I’m sure you expected it.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tommy mumbled, his hand drifting to his wrist again. The green bandana. The meaning didn’t matter anymore. _Tubbo hated him. His best friend, Tubbo. Tubbo. He hated him. He’d never know who he was. He didn’t matter anymore. Tubbo hated him. Tubbo hated him._

“I know it hurts right now, but you have me, alright? You’ll be okay.” Dream comforted, glancing over at Theo with a small smile. “Come on, I have a place we can stay, you can go get some rest and get prepared for another, most likely, eventful day tomorrow.”

“Eventful? What’s happening tomorrow?” Tommy asked, tilting his head slightly. He didn’t quite like the sound of that, and even today was stressful enough. He didn’t want to deal with another day of unbearable stress.

“Oh, nothing in particular. But I doubt it’ll be a calm day, either.” Dream replied with a shrug, leading him up to Punz’s house. Tommy thought they were going to walk inside, but instead, Dream led him past that and into his backyard.

If anything, it wasn’t a backyard, but more like a whole new area. It was almost even the size of Old L’manberg, and was walled in by tall black walls. It seemed incredibly fancy, as well, like it belonged behind a whole mansion, not just a small, dark oak house. Dream walked past a large water fountain, which Tommy stopped to admire. The water looked almost like gold in the light of the fading sunset, and shimmered just like diamonds.

“C’mon, Theo.” Dream reminded, standing at the doorway of a huge tower that stretched towards the sky. He regarded Tommy with almost annoyance in his voice, making Tommy tear his eyes away from the fountain, and follow Dream into the tower. The first floor was relatively empty, and had a checkered floor that echoed their footsteps against the eerie silence.

Dream walked up to a ladder on the opposite side of the tower from the door, and began climbing up it, expecting Tommy to follow right behind him-- Which he did. Dream didn’t stop to look at any of the other rooms, though Tommy glanced back at each room they passed by. The first one had a large blue bed, with a few chests around, and very nicely decorated. The others were somewhat filled, some were empty rooms, and soon they reached a room at the top, which was blocked off with a door, unlike all the others.

Opening the door, Dream revealed a surprisingly comfortable looking room. There was a small red bed on the left side of the room, and a slightly-larger green bed on the right side. This room was decorated almost as well as the first room he had seen, but with much darker colours this time. There were two armour stands, the one on the left with netherite armour that glittered in the soft light.

“Welcome home, Theo.”

Tommy looked around, unsure of how to feel. So _this_ would be his home, now. This tiny room. But he had to remind himself, he wasn’t in exile anymore, he wasn’t confined to one place. Sure, this would be where he kept his items and where he slept, but from what he knew, he had free reign to go wherever he wanted. And Dream _did_ say they could make a new house for him, whenever he was up for it.

“The area on the left is yours, including the set of armour on the left side as well. You’ll need to start wearing it starting tomorrow, just to make sure you’re safe, and nobody will even try to fight you.” Dream spoke up, walking to the set of his chests on his own side of the room, and shuffling through them.

“Will I have to try and get it again?” Tommy asked quietly, walking over to the armour. It seemed fully enchanted, way better than any armour he’d seen. He looked towards Dream, noticed his confusion, and rephrased what he had said. “Uh.. Will you blow it up, and I’ll have to make it again?”

“No, no, Theo… Of course not. That’s _your_ armour. And I’m not going to blow up anything else of yours. You’ve already learnt your lesson.” Dream replied softly, before turning to ignore Tommy again, his voice dropping to a hiss. “I hope.”

Tommy sighed quietly, moving away from the armour to sit on his bed. It was much, _much_ more comfortable than the thin, hard bed he had in Logstedshire. It was bigger and fluffier, with blankets much thicker that would actually block out the cold. Sitting on it already almost made him tired, but his mind was still reeling with thoughts.

“You can call me Tommy now, right? Nobody is here.” Tommy spoke up, looking at Dream, who was currently taking off his armour and setting it aside. He shrunk down slightly when Dream turned to look at him with a sigh.

“No, I can’t. Your new name is Theo, and calling you Tommy would just make everything more confusing.” Dream replied, his voice tired and annoyed, as if he was growing more impatient with every moment Tommy spoke to him. “You need to get used to this, you’re no longer the person you used to be. Tommy is **_dead_ **. Theo is you, now.”

“But… I’m still me, I’m still Tommy.. Theo is just the name I’m going by so nobody _realizes_ it’s me, until I’m safe to be myself again, right?” Tommy asked, a little quieter than before. He grew afraid as Dream stood up and started to walk over to him, but instead, he stopped at the empty armour stand, latching his netherite armour onto it.

“No. You aren’t going to tell anyone who you are, _ever_. That’s why I want you to use your new name, instead.” Dream’s voice was harsh, and he turned away from the armour stand to look at Tommy, his voice unexpectedly growing soft. “You’ll grow into the name, don’t worry.”

“Alright…” Tommy mumbled, going to rub his eyes, before his hand hit against his mask. _Oh right_. He forgot about that. “...Can I take off my mask when I go to sleep?”

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead. You can always sleep with it on too, though. Up to you.” Dream replied casually, walking over to the lightswitch by the door, and turning off the lights. The room was plunged into darkness, except for the small bit of light that drifted in through the windows. 

Tommy untied the mask, rubbing his tired eyes. He almost felt like he was missing something, without the mask on anymore. Despite that, he still placed it aside on his bedside table, slipped off his shoes and took off his hoodie, and then laid down in his bed.

It was better than Logstedshire, but it still felt almost empty, and cold. The blanket warmed him up significantly, and it was comfortable, but it still felt cold and empty here. Sure, it felt similar to how it felt in exile… But the emptiness of it was different. Instead of being away from his home, it was that his home wouldn’t be the same anymore. And neither would his friends, or his life itself.

Sleep came to him sooner than usual, though, and his morose thoughts started to quiet down till there was nothing but empty static in his mind, and his eyes shut, and reality slowly fell away as he fell into a long sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the late chapter release! everything has been really stressful, and ive been focusing a lot more on streaming (twitch.tv/axelvrai) and working on a few other projects! the recent dsmp streams havent helped either, and ive been way too busy mourning the loss of l'manberg! :(
> 
> chapters should be coming out much quicker, though... and if i havent uploaded in a few days, shout at me in the comments and ill be sure to upload :D
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy has trouble sleeping.
> 
> TW: Nightmares, stabbing, descriptions of death, drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter for today! also most of the setting-up for the story is done :) now the story will really start!

“Who are you?” A voice rang out, in the darkness. It was pitch black, nothing but the endless void. The source of the voice was Tommy himself, with clean, short blonde hair, a white and red t-shirt, and a neat green bandana wrapped around his neck. His eyes were bright, his clothes were clean, his skin was free of scars.

Most importantly, his eyes were trained on a figure in the distance, slowly approaching him. The figure held a trident, which glinted with teal and gold. Suddenly, the person jumped forward with a flash, their red hood getting pulled down to show slightly longer blonde hair. They threw Tommy to the ground--  _ If there was a ground? It was just pitch black… _ \-- And kept him held there.

A name popped into his head, and he knew who it was. Theo. A mask with a sad face on it, covering any expression the person may have had, if they had any emotion at all. But there was no emotion behind that mask. He was an empty, hollow shell of a person. 

Tommy was trembling as he looked up at Theo. Both of Theo’s hands were on his trident, the prongs pointed at Tommy’s chest, gently resting on it, moments away from stabbing him. Tommy wanted to fight, to run, to move… But he couldn’t do anything. He noticed the energy leaving him, he felt tired, he felt hurt. His clothes looked tattered now, his hair dirty and long, his skin covered in scars.

Once again, Tommy looked up at Theo. His face was supposed to be behind that mask. That was  _ him _ . 

In a flash, Theo rose the trident up, and stabbed it into Tommy’s chest. He felt the searing pain, the blood pouring out of him and puddling on the ground around him, the trident in his hands, the mask over his face protecting him and keeping him safe. And he watched as the life drained out of Tommy’s eyes.

He stood up, the trident scraping against the ground as he rose to his feet, and a steady pace of blood dripping from the three tips of the trident as he raised it up. Without warning, he felt the same stabbing pain in his chest, his vision going spotty, the blood soaking into his red hoodie, loosing his balance and about to fall--

“ _ AH! _ ” 

Tommy sat up in his bed, sweating and shaking from the nightmare. He was breathing heavily, and could barely calm himself down. There was a lingering pain in his chest, but when he pressed his hand to it, there weren’t any wounds. Just a phantom pain from the nightmare, and overwhelming panic.

Grabbing his mask and clumsily standing to his feet, Tommy rushed to the ladder. He didn’t even think to grab his shoes or his hoodie, and he just messily tied the mask onto his face, and climbed down the ladder. The whole descent down, he was still shaking, and he was afraid his weak grip on the ladder would get too loose, and he’d fall.

Eventually, Tommy made it down the ladder safely, without falling. He started to run, darting across the soft grass until he reached the prime path, and running along the wooden floors. He didn’t even give much thought to where he was going, letting his legs run the way, and letting the wind brushing past him slowly cool him down, brushing away the remnants of the nightmare.

Soft candlelight from the floating lanterns lit him up, and his footsteps slowed down to a stop, right on the edge of the docks in new L’manberg. He sighed, and then sat down on the edge of the docks. It was nice here. Calming. But all it did was remind him of L’manberg-- The  _ original _ L’manberg-- And how much he missed it.

But that was gone, now. L’manberg was gone. So was Wilbur, or Alivebur. So was Tubbo, since he didn’t even care about him at all. So was his home. Really,  _ everything _ he loved was gone, except for Dream. That seemed to help him calm down a little bit, remembering that if he had nothing else, at least Dream was still there for him. 

It was pretty cold out, Tommy realized after only a few minutes. Sure, he was wearing long sleeves, even with gloves, but without his hoodie on the cold air still seemed to nip at his skin, leaving him shivering from the temperature rather than fear. He stared down at the still water, watching the moonlight reflect off of it.

“ _...I used to wake up drowning, trying to get home, _ ” Tommy spoke to himself in a hushed whisper, barely able to tell if he was thinking it, or saying it out loud. Either way, his voice got lost in the wind the moment it left his lips. “ _ But now I’m home, and I still want to throw myself into the water. _ ” 

Tommy sighed, dipping his hand into the cold water. He remembered waking up with water in his lungs, an unpleasant feeling that he had grown used to after many, many nights in a row. He remembered crashing into the water with a trident in hand, before shooting high up into the air until he could feel the snow on his face and a crushing loneliness that hit him harder than ever before.

“Theo.” A voice snapped him out of his thoughts. A voice he recognized all too well, one he felt comforted by, but also got shivers upon hearing. Tommy turned to face Dream, shrinking down slightly.

“ _ Why _ are you here. You’re supposed to be asleep.” Dream snapped, grabbing Tommy’s wrist and forcing him to stand to his feet. Tommy stood as he was pulled up, and hid the arm with his bandana behind his back. 

“I’m sorry, I just.. I had a nightmare and I needed fresh air, that’s it,” Tommy apologized, walking with Dream as he was led away from the docks, and all the way back to the tower. The whole walk back was quiet, and Dream didn’t respond to him, or even look back at him at all. They just walked in complete, eerie silence.

Their steps on the prime path almost echoed in the silence, with Tommy’s falling behind slightly. He got tugged every so often when he fell behind, and had to walk a little bit faster to catch up. Eventually, as they reached the entrance to the tower, Tommy nervously spoke again. “I’m really sorry, Dream…”

“What was the first rule I gave you, Tommy?” Dream suddenly snapped, stopping in his steps and turning to face Tommy, tightening his grip on his wrist. “What was the  **_first rule_ ** ?!”

“To stay with you at all times.” Tommy replied quickly, guilt seeping through every word he spoke. He started at the ground, too nervous to actually look up at Dream. He hated getting in trouble like this, he suddenly wished he had just  _ listened _ like he was supposed to. 

“Right. And that means at  _ all _ times. Even at nighttime, when you think I’m asleep. Even when you have a nightmare. At.  _ All.  _ **_Times._ ** ” Dream scolded, still glaring down at Tommy. When Tommy nodded quietly as a response, he sighed quietly, and released Tommy’s wrist, before pulling him into a gentle hug. “And if you ever need me, I’m here. You could have just woken me up.”

“I’m sorry.. Thank you, Dream…” Tommy mumbled, feeling himself untense as he hugged Dream back. Everything was fine now, he was safe, he just had to follow the rules next time, and not mess up again. “Thank you…”

“Yeah, of course.” Dream moved away from the hug, patting Tommy’s shoulder gently and then turning away to walk into the tower, and begin climbing up the ladder. Tommy followed close behind him, not pausing to look back at each room like he had done before. They soon arrived back in their room, Dream reaching over to open the door and walk inside.

The room was just as dark as before, if not more, with barely any moonlight streaming in through the windows. Dream wordlessly walked to his own bed and sat down with a sigh, ignoring Tommy.

Tommy stood there for a few moments, before walking over to his bed and almost collapsing on it, his exhaustion slamming back into him now that he was calm. He really hadn’t gotten much sleep, and all the stress that came after he woke up definitely didn’t help much either. He passed out rather quick, barely having enough time to take off his mask before he fell into a deep sleep.

He was fast asleep by the time Dream wandered over, looking down at him for a few moments. He was shivering, and Dream couldn’t tell if it was from another nightmare or from the cold. He couldn’t help with the former, but he did grab the blanket and drape it over Tommy, hoping that might help just a little bit. 

Dream turned away again, walking down the ladder and out of the tower, leaving Tommy alone to rest properly for the first time in a while.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy meets two familiar faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait! writers block has been pretty bad! also WOAH!! thank you so much for 10k hits, that's insane!!  
> also, protégé au is canon now? :) https://clips.twitch.tv/PrettySaltyFloofPicoMause

“.. _ ommy. Tommy, wake up. _ ” 

Tommy slowly opened his eyes to the warm glow of the sunset peering in through the windows. And crouched down by his bed, having shook him awake was somebody in a white hoodie, with stark blonde hair and a gold chain around his neck. That was when Tommy had the stabbing realization his mask was off, and he practically shot to sit up, grabbing his mask from his bedside table and covering his face.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I know it’s you.” Punz softly replied as Tommy frantically tried to put on his mask. After a moment, Tommy let his hands drop instead of actually putting on the mask, and let it rest in his lap instead. “Dream told me beforehand. So you don’t need to wear it if you don’t want to.”

“Okay…” Tommy mumbled, fumbling with his mask in his hands. He wanted to wear it, but decided to keep it off for now while he had the chance. He looked up again after a few moments, his gaze going past Punz, and towards Dream’s side of the room. “Where’s Dream?”

“He’s out right now, and left me to take care of you.” Punz responded, standing up straight and brushing himself off before resting his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. 

Tommy nodded, staring down at the mask in his hands and brushing his thumb against the side of it gently. He glanced back up towards Dream’s side of the room, avoiding looking directly at Punz. “When will he be back…?”

“Not sure. He shouldn’t be gone for too long, though. Just a couple hours.” Punz shrugged, glancing out the window before heading to the ladder. “In the meantime, if you want some breakfast, you can come follow me. Second floor with the blue bed, can’t miss it.” 

“Okay…” Tommy mumbled as Punz left and started climbing down the ladder. Tommy sat on his bed for a few moments, before sighing and standing up, putting on the mask and tying the ribbon to keep it secure. He threw on his red hoodie and his sneakers before heading towards the ladder.

He paused for a few moments, looking back, and then walking towards his armour stand. Tommy recalled Dream saying something about him wearing it the next day, so he decided it might be a good idea to just gear up now. He spent a while trying to put on all the armour, but eventually he got all of it on, the netherite glinting in the sunlight. It was pretty heavy, but he felt much more secure wearing it.

Tommy started walking down the ladder, stopping when he reached the second floor. There was a large blue bed, and the room was decorated cleanly, with a few vases of blue flowers, and some chests closer to the ladder. Punz was sorting through one of the chests, perking up and shutting the chest when Tommy arrived.

“Hey, here you go.” Punz said, tossing a piece of bread over to Tommy, and letting him catch it. “Sorry, I don’t have any proper breakfast or anything right now.”

“It’s fine..” Tommy mumbled, lifting up his mask slightly to take a bite of the bread. As plain as it was, it was nicer than… Well, nothing. Through all his time he had spent in exile, he had neglected eating for a fair portion of it. Maybe now that he was back, he could try and get better at eating and taking care of himself.

“So… Would you rather me call you Tommy or Theo?” Punz asked, grabbing a piece of bread for himself and taking a bite. After a moment, he corrected himself, talking with his mouth full. “When nobody else is around, I mean.”

Tommy thought for a few moments, trying to decide. He  _ had _ the chance, now, to be seen as who he used to be. To be called Tommy, as if none of this had ever happened… But he wasn’t sure if he wanted that. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be known as Tommy ever again. “Uh.. Theo is fine.”

“Cool. Theo it is, then.” Punz replied, finishing off the piece of bread he was eating. Theo was barely done with his, having to readjust his mask every single time he took a bite. It seemed quite annoying, and Punz tilted his head in confusion. “You can take the mask off for now, if you want.”

“It’s fine,” Tommy mumbled back, shaking his head. Though he did at least partially take the advice, pushing his mask up just enough that his mouth was uncovered. He finished off the piece of bread, watching as Punz grabbed a few things from the chest before shutting it again, and walking towards the ladder.

“C’mon, I’ve got things to do, and you’re gonna have to stick with me until Dream comes back, at least.” Punz spoke up, leading Tommy down the ladder. Tommy quickly readjusted his mask so his face and hair were hidden, and quietly followed him down to the ground floor. 

The two walked out of the tower and down the prime path, towards the community house. Even though Punz was holding his riptide trident, he didn’t end up using it so that Tommy could keep up with him easily. Soon enough, they arrived at the community house, and Punz started to make his way towards the nether portals, before halting quite suddenly.

“Shit, I forgot something back at the tower.” Punz sighed, sorting through his inventory before shutting it, and turning towards Tommy, who was standing just behind him, hand resting on the doorframe of the community house. “Stay here, I’ll go grab the stuff I forgot, and we can keep going.”

Tommy only nodded as a reply, unable to get himself to speak out loud. He watched as Punz turned and swiftly headed back the way they’d come, before climbing up a small tower to a pool of water and using his riptide trident to fly through the air and get back to his house quicker than on foot.

He remembered using a riptide trident like that. He had flown up into the air, water splashing around him, opening his eyes to glance down at Dream on the shoreline and grin at him through the tears he had cried minutes prior. The sound of laughter and water splashing, Tommy swimming ashore with a sigh. A party for two, when it was supposed to be for more.

It was still jarring to remember sometimes. It had been raining, and Tommy was able to shoot himself further and further up, higher than he’d ever gone before, until he was suspended in midair for a moment, so high up the rain flew down slower, turning into gentle snowflakes that hit his face. 

_ ‘I’m so alone.’ _ He had said, before a lurching feeling hit him and he fell, the gentle snow turning back into hard rain droplets that fell alongside him, until he finally crashed into the lake with a loud splash, shaking and crying as he brought himself back up to the grass, Dream grabbing his hand and helping him up.

He was never truly alone, was he? For better or for worse, Dream had been there since the start. He was the only one who never left. Sure, Tommy had still  _ felt _ alone, but he never was. Dream had always been there to help him through the worst, to be there for him. Even now, the only reason he was allowed to come back to the SMP, was because Dream found a way to get him back, even if it wasn’t the same as the old days.

Dream was his one, true friend. Nobody else cared for him but Dream. After all, they all had exiled him and left him to die, and nobody visited him but Dream. It almost hurt now, even if Dream was only gone for a few hours, Tommy felt empty and almost… Cold, without him there. He felt really cold, actually, and hugged himself, shivering from the feeling. Why was he so suddenly cold?

“ _ Hi, Tommy! _ ” An echoey whisper broke through his thoughts, and Tommy felt a cold hand placed on his shoulder, before phasing through it. He turned sharply to face the source of the voice, shock highlighting his face under his mask when he saw a ghostly figure he recognized all too well, and hadn’t seen since the day before his party.

“Ghostbur?” Tommy asked, before realizing that the ghost had said his name-- His  _ old _ name. Tommy’s hands darted up to his mask, checking to feel it was still on, which it was. Still on and covering his face, there shouldn’t be any way that anybody was able to recognize him, or know for sure that it  _ is _ him.

“I’m not Tommy. My name is Theo.” Tommy quickly explained, his voice going firm, although he spoke in almost a whisper, unable to speak up louder even if he wanted to. His hand dropped from his mask, instead balling up at his sides. 

“ _ Oh, so you’re using a new name now? Like how I’m Ghostbur instead of Wilbur? Cool, okay! _ ” Ghostbur exclaimed, floating closer with a grin. He was slightly translucent, and almost seemed to glow the tiniest bit. 

“No, no, listen--” Tommy started, thinking for a moment and sighing. He didn’t want to upset Dream, he  _ had _ to keep his identity a secret, but it seemed like Ghostbur somehow already knew. “I can’t let anybody know I’m Tommy, okay? I’m a completely new person you don’t know, and I go by Theo, got that?”

“ _ Okay! I got that, Tommy! _ ” Ghostbur replied, his voice still just as happy and unphased as ever. He paused for a second, almost feeling Tommy’s frustration without seeing it behind the mask, and laughed nervously with an echo as he corrected himself. “ _ Theo _ .”

“ _ Here, Theo, take some blue. You look sad. _ ” Ghostbur said after a moment, raising his hand and brushing it against the mask, leaving a blue smudge against the white mask. He smiled, rubbing the blue off of his own hands. “ _ There! _ ”

“...Thanks, Ghostbur.” Tommy replied after a moment, raising his hand up and touching where the blue was painted onto his mask. It stained his fingers a bit, even when he tried to rub it off. 

“ _ Your mask is nice! It looks kinda like Dream’s, actually! _ ” Ghostbur said after a few moments of silence, reaching up to smudge a bit more blue against the mask, which made Tommy swat his hand away gently. “ _ You almost look like a mini him now! You have the mask, a hoodie and everything… Dream should come here and we could compare! I haven’t seen him in a while!” _

“It’s supposed to look like Dream’s mask.” Tommy replied, pulling up his sleeve and using his sleeve to wipe away the blue. “I’m staying with Dream now, he gave me the mask. So we have matching ones.”

“ _ Yeah, it looks basically the same! Except it’s sad, not happy! _ ” Ghostbur replied with a smile, that faded after a moment and he tilted his head as he asked, “ _ Theo, are you sad? _ ”

“What? No, I’m not..” Tommy replied after a second, a little bit of shock in his voice. Of course he wasn’t sad. He had no reason to be, he had Dream… He wasn’t alone or in exile, he was back at the SMP, he shouldn’t be sad. He wasn’t sad. Part of him felt like he was just lying to himself, though, and it felt like a stab in his gut. “I’m not sad.”

“ _ Okay! A lot of people have been feeling a bit sadder, I think. That’s why I have so much blue to hand out! _ ” Ghostbur rambled as he floated around the community house, looking around curiously. Tommy watched him quietly, stuck in thought and not quite listening as Ghostbur softly talked on and on.

Despite the sad face on his mask, he really wasn’t sad. Despite what he had been though in exile, despite losing all his friends he had before, he wasn’t sad. It would be selfish of him to be sad, when Dream did so much to help him and try to make him feel better. And he wasn’t sad, at least when Dream was there.

But Dream wasn’t here right now. Tommy was alone, first with Punz, and now with Ghostbur. He felt more scared and more sad than he realized, without Dream to keep him stable, to keep him safe, to keep him on track. There was the threat of messing up looming over his head, and the threat of what would happen to him if he did. 

  
“ _ Oh, Tomm-- Theo! Look! _ ” Ghostbur’s high pitched voice brought him out of his thoughts, and Tommy turned to look where Ghostbur was pointing; the nether portal, which two figures had just walked through, making their way down to the community house. “ _ Technoblade and Philza are here! _ ”


End file.
